day 5 - i love too much. is that so wrong?

cause i moved into my appartment yesterdayyyy and just now found the correct angle to point my laptop sos i can steal internet... ^-^ YESSSSS!
back to blogging...
bear


"Vexation of spririt is a waste of time;
Negative thinking, don't you waste your thoughts;
Verbal conflict is a waste of words;
Physical conflict is a waste of flesh;
People will always be who they want
and thats what really makes the world go round.
Unconditional love is scarce...
youve always been there for me
so ill be there for you..."
~d. marley

I give my love freely to those with a heart big enough to receive it. You see, mine tends to overflow on the regular, and if ive nowhere to pour it out to, it becomes hard for me to grow. and if your heart is full already, youll see no need for making room for what i have to offer...
I give my love freely with no expectations, no ties, no binds, no promises... only the guarantee that should you ever need something, anything, you have me. Not everyone will be open to receive it. and ive no way of knowing if anyone will be open to accept it at all. but i surely wont hold back.
I give my love freely not knowing who will accept it or who will reject it, or who will turn their nose up at it without speaking two words to me. But ill love no two people differently, because everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, and no one deserves anything less.
and quite frankly, its the only way i know...




I thought i loved to draw, but all i could think to draw were words. and then i began to write...

29 september 2007
I moved into my spot. its cute. enough space for one person. i think im going to grow to love it. not TOO much hopefully... i plugged up my DOPE alarm clock that had nature sounds to wake me up (roosters, ocean, seagulls, crickets, birds, rainforest, shit like that...) and i guess it needed a surge protector, but it busted not even 5 minutes later, and ill never get to use it... Grace a dieu!! i didnt use the same plug for my laptop or god forbid the battery charger for my camera. Damn... but even worse, now ive no way to wake myself up in the morning. Ill have to figure that out by monday cause theres work to begin. I didnt get settled until after 19h, which didnt give me much time to grocery shop. Im on a TIGHT budget. i mean. i could live comfortably if there werent so many places i wanted to travel to.

So i finally sat down after walking about 20 minutes to the nearest supermarket open this late, which happend to be in vielle Tours (a bit over priced if you ask me). But i spent the last of my loot on food that hopefully will last me a few days. Im going to try and take full advantage of school meals, and check out the university next week too. I cant afford to take classes right now. Not unless i can use hope, but i think its too late for this semester for that nonsense. Ill figure school out later. maybe MUCH later...

Meanwhile, i want to travel!!!!! im thinkin amsterdam around mid november to meet up with corey, jorge, and coke for the cannibus cup, berlin maybe, london, paris, geneva, and hopefully i can get back to spain... if not granada, maybe lugo at least so i can visit Petra. Maybe shayne would be down to go to Rambutan with me in the spring when he gets here in april from korea. also, i was checking ryanair and i found some cheap flights to Oslo, Norway... HELL YEA!! thatd be tiiiiiiight ^-^ . Ill have about 300euro extra at the end of each month to spend. If i could score a eurail pass, thatd be ideal too. But my parents would have to buy that in USA and mail it to me. then i could travel wherever for pretty cheap. Ill do the research and the math. Im the master at plannin trips. just ask my dad ^_^. Amsterdam is very feasable. and thats numero uno on my list.

My french felt a bit more confident today. Now that im officially moved in, i think this french life ive chosen will become second nature to me. theres just something unsettling about living out of suitcases... and even, now that im out of the principals house, i wouldnt mind going out dancing with him... maybe?

my neighbors to my immediate right are morrocan. a mother and 2 daughters who moved here to france because the education is better here for women than there. i had to borrow their internet to get my password for the internet i paid for (GUH!). one of the daughters is in high school, and the other is in college. and to my left at the end of the hall is a tall, thin columbian named francisco whos studying commerce/trade at the university. i havent met him just yet, i just saw him go to the bathroom... hah. i wonder if bryan found a spot yet.

i want to go dancing!! i hope i find friends soon...