mr golden sun

it rained all night last night, and its been raining all morning so far. god i miss that. not that the weathers been beautiful here, because it hasnt been all that great. very gloomy, always overcast. if the sun comes out at all its between 3-5. its just i havent fallen asleep to the sound of rain in a long time. the temperature continues to drop and ive switched to wearing my hooded vest coat beneath my other one. i wish id brought my black trench coat. i love trench coats. damn... i bet i could still get it shipped. but i suppose once i get my pea coat that might suffice. and i wish i had my rain boots. perhaps ill buy a new pair here.

i seem to be coming down hard with something. i havent been as up to beat since thursday night. i went to pimps with eleni, her neighbor caroline, and her boyfriend, another guy gille who id met once before at the cafe des langues, and a couple others. but i really had absolutely no life in me. and gille kept trying to neck me, or i dont know what the hell he was doing. i nearly hurled when i was walking to meet up with them and i ended up leaving the club early and walking home by myself around 3.

friday night the german assistant, Thang's girlfriend arrived from germany. when he went to pick her up he was dressed in a suit and tie and hed bought flowers for her. sigh, it was absolutely adorable. hah, so then he stopped by my door to say whats up after about an hour or so and he says to me, "if you wanna stop by and meet my girl, practice your german, you know, come on over. just, give us a few first." ...duude... cooome on!! she just took a damn 12 hr train ride from dresde. you havent seen her in how long? you cant just tell me 'just give us a few'. alls im sayin is... id just straight up be like "ill see you tomorrow man! goooood night!"

i bought a dress on friday with my neighbor ikram. saturday i met up with ashley and we did a little bit of shopping. but well, i didnt buy anything that time. and that was after id slept until 15h and was only jolted out of bed by my doorbell. it was a taiwanese girl buon shyuu(???) that id met at cafe des langues who wanted to have an french exchange. shes going to find me a japanese exchange ^_^. well, she brought me a croissant when she came up, which was nice. and i invited her to come shopping with ashley and i, but she had a friend with her and they had to go. its going to be hard helping her. she knows very little french, even less english, and i dont know chinese. but itll be fun!

and im ashamed to say it, but i didnt leave my apt building not once yesterday (sunday). but i really just didnt have the energy. it was sunday first of all, so everything was closed anyways. i was coughin stuff all day, fuckiiiiiin cigarettes! but on the other hand, because i took the time to decorate my walls a bit, its not so dull in here anymore. i spent the day watching youtube videos, then i switched it up a bit and watched about a dozen southpark episodes. i was going to finish watching princess mononoke, but i think i just passed out instead. i did make myself dinner, and i smoked a dubie with ikram and her friend. thang stopped by as well. today is his birthday and he wants to have a potluck tonight around 1830. and then cafe des langues. wow. having a routine makes life appear to go by faster. i mean, once youre in the motion its hard to break it. i told myself i was going to look through my japanese books for this week. yea, that didnt happen.

which goes back to what i was saying earlier, if we're always in the habit of doing the same things, we become older faster. hmmm, i believe i know how to slow down time. =D its just so much easier to always be absent minded.

i was reminded today about how poorly i manage time. and i suppose it also has to do with how important i feel something is... but not always. take for example: school, always late. papers, always last minute. church, always late. work. always late.. meal breaks were smoke breaks. this school job, ive actually been pretty punctual. i think i was maybe 5 minutes late once, 15 minutes late once. then there were those 2 times at the other school where i was 2.5hrs late, but it wasnt my fault... and they knew that, so, it doesnt count.

man, i have GOT to be ill with something. my head feels heavy with fever, my stomach has been ultra sensitive, im exhausted to move. i got ill the last time i was in europe, but it just felt like a 2 day thing. its been 4 days now. well thank god its vacation. eleni went to paris again! lucky bitch. and ashley went to nice and paris. pareil. whatever, im going to berlin. there was a rumor that we were supposed to be getting paid soon, like this week. i hope this is true because i have to pay rent this week. i bet if i asked my parents to pay for half of my berlin trip theyd throw down. i wont know until i ask!

tours finally got its firs kfc. thats right! kentucky friend chicken has made its way to the beautiful wine country of the loire valley. i believe the last time i had kfc was with john-mercer about 2 weeks just before i left. it was damn good. to show my appreciation, i am wearing my gold fangs, my hair in cornrows the whole week, as well as wearing my dunks. ill stop by sometime this week to enjoy.

my teacher, vero, gus' mom, who had me over for the bbq is on going to stop by in about an hour to scoop me up and take me to a hypermarche. which is sorta like a walmart im guessing? theyd have peanut butter and ranch dressing. i need a pillow, some food to cook something for thang's potluck tonight, um... i dunno what else. maybe an A hat.

sigh, life is consistent.
until next time
bear